Here’s What They Probably Meant
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen is a working director. He makes the moviefilms and also the videofilms. One time he used clarinet music in something. And then also he used that nice oldey-timey font when making the movie picture film things on your DVD players or piano.
When you’re not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.
Succeeding can be defined by not getting a pie in your face, or just making the pie altogether. There’s a lot of calories in pie, so think about that before you start sucking down the cool whip that you just bought from the grocery store. And yes, you should have done to the other store. It was so busy there. Shit.
When you’re in love it’s the most glorious two and a half days of your life.
This is so true because nothing lasts for three days. That’s just science.
People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
Remember that episode of Seinfeld where they all got hammered with Norm at that bar in Boston? I don’t either, because that crossover never happened. But it should have.
Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
This dickhole’s real name is Samuel Clemens, which shows you just how much credibility he has.